Each week, Tony Budny pens SCREAMING INTO THE VOID and looks at the best in writing and social media conversation around the biggest issues in beer. If you feel something should be included, have a tip, or just want to sound off, feel free to look him up on Twitter @DrinksTheThings or email DCBeer.
Greetings, dear readers, and welcome to this, the rare regularly scheduled edition of The Void. We have screamed into it extra loudly lately, and I want you to know I’ve been listening. I have another outrage to add to the pile.
You know, I like a good cask beer. Hell, I like a good cask beer with additions, assuming the additions are things that make sense, like vanilla bean or cocoa nibs into an imperial stout or hops into a pale ale. But I also like a good English brown ale that’s just there, in that cask, waiting for you to drink it in all its clarified, bright glory. But something’s off. You look at it, and it's unnecessarily turbid. You take that first sip and you get…
Pretzels. Salt. Soggy paper. So sessionable, amirite?
You frown. You just wanted a beer.
So you look at the latest IPA offerings. What you really want is a crystal clear, slightly bitter, floral pull and then–
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCE. Ah, this isn’t any good, c’mon. You’ve gone too far. Don’t stand in line for 12 hours for this.
This stuff is pure Tom Cizauskas bait.
Did any of this happen to you or a loved one? Call 1-800-VOID to request counsel. $99 a minute charges may apply.
You know who looks like they just wanted a beer? These guys:
Local beer, like these guys are in, is having a moment. Some of San Diego's best and brightest are moving to the area. Montgomery County’s brew scene, despite some very public roadblocks, is churning along at a rate where an event like this can happen:
First wave breweries are hitting their stride, expanding, and sticking to what they do best.
Archaeologists are even finding old beer bottles. No one tell Sam Calagione, he’ll be here in his gyrocopter made from thousand-year old beer bottles immediately. In the meantime, these college students that created a 5,000 year old beer have provided a distraction.
But Bloomberg reports all is not well in beer land, as consumers continued to move away from it, overall, toward spirits. This, of course, needs more of a qualitative analysis, as the noted abandoning of the Big Three beer brewers toward other conglomerates and craft is also a factor. But there is something afoot.
Apparently at least one guy thinks wine isn’t poison, though:
Charles Oakley, folks. Never a dull moment.
You know who wouldn’t put garbage in beer casks? Hill Farmstead, who are once again the world's top brewery, according to RateBeer.
If you’re like me and would drink most anything that comes out of a barrel, you'll be happy to read an analysis of what that wood actually does to the beer aside from make it markedly more whale-like. Be careful, thar be science contained within.
Speaking of science, Dogfish Head has been busy figuring out how to get beer straight from a barrel to your FACEHOLE in less time than ever.
Let’s take a trip around Europe:
Christopher Barnes thinks about beer in Dinant, Belgium.
Stonch finds a pizzeria in Tuscany that's a great spot for beer, too.
Barlow Brewing goes to Switzerland:
Take a deep breath, everyone. Relax. Have a home brew. You made it another week. You deserve it. Save your energy, because next week is another one. At least you’ll have another Void to Scream into.