We’re doing the Void monthly-ish these days, so I thought I’d talk you on a nice walk through the world of beer in that time frame. We last published in mid-June. Everything was, of course, very normal, I assure you. Do not be alarmed.
Mega-brewer Sapporo acquired Stone Brewing at the end of June. Greg Koch achieved maximum Greg Koch with a nearly 3000 word diatribe describing his feelings about the whole ordeal. People had takes about what this all means for craft beer, when a brand that prided itself on independence, once again, sold to a bigger company. And then nothing else happened for the rest of the month.
Locally, Atlas brewing closed their main taproom for the summer, which was mostly broken on Twitter by a DC metal band account, and everyone had a minor freakout. Oops! Everything would be fine for the rest of the month, I assure you. Do not be alarmed.
Well… 3 Stars Brewing. They closed their taproom on July 9 to much fanfare and many people showed up to send them off and clear out their cellar. They’ll be available in retailers for a little while longer before they’re gone for good. There was an almost universal outpouring of love and support for DC’s third production brewery in this wave and for those whose jobs are unfortunately going on the shelf for a bit. But don’t worry everyone, Nigel the resident general manag–, I mean, brewery cat found a home with the brewery’s departing events coordinator.
DC Brau, the first production brewery, had a nice post about friends’ closure.
Then came the announced closure on July 16 of Green Hat’s DC distillery, the first distillery in DC since Prohibition. They sold to conglomerate MGP in 2020 and began distributing from its Kansas distillery in February 2021. The DC location wasn’t a fit anymore, so off it went, along with the owners, into the sunset.
And in the same week, Silver Branch and Old Ox’s announced merger was no more. Silver Branch wanted to sell Old Ox’s Middleberg, VA facility, and Old Ox did not want that, Kate Bernot reported, and so that was that. And then.. Old Ox closed their Middleburg facility for a reimagination? I don’t know.
Are you tired yet? I am! I sure could use a beer. Let me reach into my fridge and open up a strong, cold, tall bottle of–
Hmm. Nevermind, I’m not thirsty anymore, actually.
Onto better beer, let’s try some hot dog flavored seltz– OH FFS.
SCREW IT, I’M POSTING FORMER DETROIT PISTONS PLAYER BEN WALLACE IN FRONT OF A PICTURE OF BIG BEN
If you’re wondering, there’s been a lot of turmoil across the pond, where Prime Minister Boris Johnson sort of resigned, saying he’d step down eventually and, I don’t know, not do certain duties or something in the meantime. The Secretary of State for Defence in Britain is named… Ben Wallace, who was seen as a potential contender for the eventual Tory leadership. But not that Ben Wallace. But maybe it could be that Ben Wallace?
All right, it’s time for the heavy, serious section. Yes, even after all that. You ready? You sure?
Do you want a vacation on the thermonuclear hindenburg titantic first? Take a break. This is serious.
On top of that, the founder of Tired Hands, who had been of fostering a similar environment at his facility, came back after leaving.
All right, beer break.
It’s a good beer in the Void. Good thing there’s a record of this, otherwise we’d have to dig it up from the depths of the internet to prove its existence. Normally I save this sort of thing for closer to the end, but it feels right to put an ode to a classic British beer right here as well.
Also feels right for you to peruse this happy hour sheet which is long overdue for the DC area by the imminent social media influencer and enthusiast Clockout DC. Upkeep on this document should continue for all eternity under some sort of closed collective.
Hard seltzer is OVER. That’s right. It isn’t any good. Unless you like it. In which case its fine. Don’t hurt me.
We have to talk about New Jersey. Sorry. The new laws enacted this month, intended for food truck regulation, do more harm than good. Kate Bernot is on the case again. Also, Fritz Hahn brings up the point that this bears some resemblance to laws Maryland tried to pass in 2017.
Now that I have your attention:
Just wanted to remind readers that this is The Void, after all, and sometimes you can’t parody reality. That said, do not union bust if you are craft beer, as with the tweet below. It’s unbecoming.
Circling back to local, popular Virginia brewery Aslin Beer opened a DC spot, finally, after much neighborhood drama, and they serve more than beer.
Finally, I can’t leave you without a semi-curmudgeonly post about what stout beer has become, and why that’s led this author back to porter.
There is endless (insert beer that you like) in the Void, the catch is it’s precisely 1 degree off of the ideal temperature. Find out next time if you can adjust your massive cooler system to compensate (you can’t).