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The Return of the Void… Again

*looks timidly over a fence at the smoldering ashes of society*

Uh.

Hey. Guys.

Heh.

How’s it going?

Only August 30, 2019, the Voidland correspondent published the what was the final Void until this treatise you’re reading. Ironically, the title said “The Void is Forever.” Well, by now you know well enough that NOTHING IS FOREVER, LITERALLY NOTHING.

Except… that isn’t necessarily true, is it? The Void has been here all along! Yes, as we’ve said before on these pages, even if the Void isn’t published, we’re in it. You can’t escape it. It never goes away. And boy, did I not even realize what I was saying until now. But, fear not, for your area sarcastic, gallows-humor correspondent is back. And we have… just the network on which to publish it.

Normally, this is where I’d put a synopsis of the area beer news, including new events, but because of

There… aren’t any events. I mean there are still events, we still exist. There just aren’t any… happenings. Nothing is happening. Beer is being released, largely in cans. People are buying it in record numbers. But… there’s nothing. We can’t sugar coat this. Small businesses are all struggling. As Denizens Brewing co-owner Julie Verratti said in a recent interview and Silver Branch’s Brett Robinson reiterated in a conversation I had with him on Zoom, everyone’s favorite unsecure chatting platform, everyone is just making it up as they go along now. They’re creating new ways to sell beer, package beer, and yes, delivered, directly to customers. This is, and I mean this as sincerely as I have ever meant anything before, the ONLY good thing that has come from this stay-at-home period. By the way, Julie, thank you for the beer delivery, directly to my home door. The folks at MoCo, MD’s own True Respite created an app that is being used in 30 states to get beer to people, as well as other proprietary software. These are desperate times and breweries have really helped each other out. It’s inspiring to see.

Find your local brewery that will deliver here.

We all do, Danner. We all do.

Breweries are still releasing new beers and trying their best to adhere to a busted brewing schedule. Other breweries are selling kegs at a discount, since on-premise consumption of beer from taps has fallen completely to zero. Restaurants and bars that hadn’t before have gotten into the take-away business. Many area establishments are filling growlers to keep in business and keep their stock of kegs flowing. And as always, as the stimulus checks come in and if you can afford it, give to your local food bank or other related non-profit first, then go buy some beer.

Hey, you’re not my mom.
Ok, fine, put on pants before picking up your beer or greeting the delivery person. Or, greeting the delivery dog. I don’t get the chance to see my hometown of Hagerstown, Maryland featured in any way on the Reuters main twitter feed. I guess this is better for being featured for something bad.

DC Brau celebrated a nine year anniversary this week. Brandon Skall delivered a thank you message in these difficult times. People who have worked with, for, and covered the brewery since its opening reminisced on the past few years and what DC’s first production brewery since prohibition meant for the city’s beer scene.

On the latest edition of #eviltwinbeernames:

I Just Can’t Anymore FDA Please Help IPA, brewed with genuine grade A beef and lactose. Get your cans today, $24/4 pk, on-site only.

It was about one year ago when DC Beer Bill left us. No, he’s not dead, at least not physically (we’re all a little dead inside though), but he isn’t editor of the site anymore. He says it’s been left in good hands, but they still let me write for it, so is it though?

A yeast shortage? Nah. Might as well say “there’s an air shortage.” Like the Void, yeast is all around us.


*squints*

Take a look, ya’ll. I think I see it folks. The light at the end of the tunnel. The end being nigh. If there’s anything that looks like a Void, it is a Natural Light-sponsored event featuring Stephen A. Smith and the CEO of Barstool sports.

Remember, now any day can be beer restock day these days, if you try hard enough.

We’ve had a good time here today. But seriously, be patient with yourself and more kind to others than usual these days. We’re going to need all the energy we can get.

Take care, and don’t stare too long at the Void.

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