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Into The Void Uncategorized

Screaming Into the Void (July 22, 2016 Edition)

Each week, Tony Budny pens SCREAMING INTO THE VOID and looks at the best in writing and social media conversation around the biggest issues in beer. If you feel something should be included, have a tip, or just want to sound off, feel free to look him up on twitter @DrinksTheThings, email DCBeer, or Pokemon Go to his DMs.

It’s been a long, hot summer already. We’re slouching toward 100 degrees. The vultures are once again circling overhead. Panic is setting in among aficionados of craft beer, as the global mega-brewers are slowly becoming the global mega-brewer. The jig is up. They’re coming for your local brewery. You can’t stop them. You can only sort of avoid drinking them.

Good news though. It’s pumpkin beer season again.

“Don’t tell me about pumpkin beers. I swear the next person who does gets set on fire.”

“You got any Zombie Dust.”

Me if I was interacting: “no, but Europe is about to get plenty.”

Read for the anecdotes, stay for the buried pay-to-play lede at the end.

****

Do you drink Michelob Ultra? Does anyone really… *drink*… Michelob Ultra? Sure, a lot of people pay for it, but do they really drink it? Let’s check the reviews:

It’s good for a mainstream beer,” he says of Ultra. “I can actually taste a little flavor.” His wife, Tiana, declares Ultra “bearable.”

Put “bearable” on a billboard, it’ll crush. Here’s a slogan I came up with: “The beer to quench your hatred of life.”

Then again, I guess craft is pretty caloric. I’ve mentioned my own weight loss before and this article speaks to me, doing mathematical gymnastics attempting to justify that 300 cal imp stout I’m about to guzzle after work on a Friday because I earned it, man. Maybe I should drink Mich Ultra out of some dude’s belly button instead.

I wonder if I can find Mich Ultra in Montgomery County, MD? I’ll bet. But not much else.

Eh, I dunno, maybe I could save some money avoiding it. Then you gotta do all this stuff to order one at a bar properly. But what else would I do on a Friday night?

I guess this week I would’ve had an excuse.  

Cleveland was ready for it, too.

Love me some all-natural beer.

****

Craft beer has a byproduct problem. From the wastewater to the spent ingredients, all that waste disposal comes at a cost not only to the brewery but to the consumer and the environment. These issues are part of a maturing marketplace and I’m glad to see breweries considering it, but more collaboration is needed to stave off a worse problem.

Just another reason why it's hard being a brewer.

Kate Bernot in Draft Magazine says to cool it on the juice puns in IPAs. But I thought we were running out of beer names?

ANXO opened in Truxton Circle last week and apparently y’all like some cider.

I’ll drink to that.

Have a good weekend, stay cool, tune in next week where hopefully I won’t have left the void on the car’s dashboard and it’s gotten all melty and disgusting.

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