Earlier this month, Will Gordon posted the “perfect draft menu” for the hypothetical bar which he would oversee and from which he would tweet at his adoring legions of nerdy and pedantic beer folk.

/smiles coquettishly at Will

This thought experiment is a fun one, and your DCBeer staff and some other #dcbrews personalities weighed in with their own lists.

We (more or less) followed Will’s guidelines: “I’ve settled on 16 taps, envisioning a bar with a limited food menu and around 80 seats; a couple of TVs on the wall, maybe, but they’re only on when there’s a good reason (“ESPN is showing the same golf highlights they’ve been showing for 36 straight hours” is not, for example, a good reason); good liquor, sure, along with the stripped-down kitchen, and perhaps the odd trivia night or live band, but for the most part this is a place where people come to drink beer.”

These are the categories each tap falls into:


Without further ado, here are our lists!

Aaron Morrissey:

Josh “JP” Perry:

Tony Budny:

Here is what The Diogenes Club would have on tap today:

And I'm going to add one because any bar I'd own would have one:

Jake Berg:

Paul Josuns:


John Fleury:

Went with things you can realistically get, but regardless of price. Looking over this list, I definitely feel like the old beer guy. Shrug.

Sean Dalton:

You're not the only old guy, John, because most of your picks were on varying drafts of mine. Finally going with this lineup, trying to stay mostly local:

Mike Stein:

It was really hard to compose this list and not put all 16 drafts as lagers. Equally hard was not listing 16 beers that are lost forever to history. But I'm a modern man with classic taste and seeing as how other modern people with classic tastes will be frequenting Stein and Hube's Hubesteinery, I figured I'd better round out the list. I put two ciders on there too. Is that allowed? Oh, I own the place? Ciders!

Bill DeBaun:

The Stork’s Draft List

So that’s it for us. What are your picks? What did we get right and wrong? Let us know in the comments, and we look forward to having you in our hypothetical bars (or our parody ones).